Connect with us

LGBTQ Voices

How I Realized I Don’t Fit the Gender Binary



A brunette woman with short hair, sunglasses, and a rainbow headband plays her guitar outside her porch while wearing a red white and blue jacket with long white socks and shoes.
West Chester, PA

I came out when I was 16 or 17 years old. It was my junior year of high school. I live in a very conservative town and there were only about 2 gay guys out in my high school at the time, so it was very difficult for me to come to terms with my sexuality.

I started smoking a lot to suppress my emotions and my mom caught me one day. Right then and there, I began to explain my pain to her and she accepted me with open arms. I am very lucky for that.

I realized I wasn’t straight during my junior year of high school when I started having feelings for my best friend. Then, it kind of all made sense thinking about how I was as a child. I am super androgynous and later, in my last year of college, I realized I do not fit the gender binary of being a ‘woman.’

Yes, I was talked about behind my back in high school. My friends just thought me being gay was a phase and think I have not had the right experience with a man. For the most part though, I am lucky with the reactions I have had from my support system.

Coming out is definitely way easier now because sexuality and gender has now been recognized to be so fluid. No matter how ‘easy’ it may seem, it is still very hard for each individual, especially to know that there are people out there that frown upon them.

I think homophobia has changed and gotten better SLIGHTLY. Since gay marriage is now legalized, I think people care less, but then there are also radical supporters of our President that despise the LGBT community. Clearly, there are still a lot of these people if we look at who is running our government today.

There is never enough LGBT representation in the media! The media is only focused on the negatives and stereotypes. We also need to look at the positives and pay attention to love being universal!