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LGBTQ Voices

How I Validated Myself When I Came Out



Author, brown wavy hairy, wearing glasses and a blue shirt in a classroom looking upwards and away from the camera
Long Island, NY

I realized that I was bisexual in 2017 because of the keyboard player in my band who had a coming out experience as a bi man. Everything he was saying rang true to me.

It was really similar to the way I view sexuality and gender. So, I pretty much figured out that I was bi myself through him.

There were signs. In the past, people always used to tell me that they thought I was gay. I was part of the gay straight alliance at school.

I always felt really strong about gay marriage and equality. I’ve been painting my nails for a few years now. That started way before I ever thought that I was not straight.

My relationship with my sexuality is kind of interesting. I definitely think I had to come out to myself first.

For a while, I was thinking that if I came out as bi, people would almost think that I wasn’t being sincere. I felt like they would think that I was doing it to be trendy or something.

I had to really come out to myself first to validate myself.

I haven’t really fully come out to a lot of my friends and I haven’t come out to any of my family yet. I’ve only come out to a few particular friends. Everyone has reacted very positively and been very supportive of me so far.

I definitely think coming out is easier now than it was in the past. Especially with all the resources online. There’s a huge LGBTQ community on the internet.

I think society has also started coming around to accepting LGBT people, but I think it’s still a process. They’re still kind of ostracized.

They’re not fully in the mainstream yet, so it’s still a process. It’s still not easy.