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How I Found a Support System When I Came Out



Two people hugging in front of a pride flag on the sidewalk
Villanova, PA

I came out at the end of April 2018, so just a few months ago. I came out to everyone in my life who I thought should know about it directly from me.

Coming out was terrifying. Even though I was confident, I was scared that everyone would not be receptive and supportive. I’m still not sure why it was so scary since I was confident everyone would still love me.

The hardest part was my mom. My sister was the first person I came out to. But, the very next day, my mom pushed her to tell what was up.

My mom then, found out I was queer way before I wanted her to. But she was so excited about it. She visited me at school, took me out to dinner, and cornered me to talk about it. I didn’t want to.

I was nowhere near ready for her to know. And I was not okay with talking about it with her. Even though she was so supportive and happy for me, she hijacked my’ coming out.’ And I felt like I lost control over this brand new part of myself I was just figuring out.

I realized I wasn’t straight when I was at dinner with my mom and sister. They were talking about their feelings towards women (that they never had any, ever).

They never were attracted to any women and never felt the desire to kiss one or anything like that. I was very silent through that whole conversation because I thought the way I felt about women was the way all straight people felt about them.

This was because in high school, I asked my friend, ‘If Emma Watson wanted to kiss you, you would do it, right?’ She agreed, and since I felt the same way she did, and she was straight, it meant that all straight women felt this way.

That same friend came out to me three years later, so that should’ve been my first sign!

I’m blessed that none of my friends and family have treated me any differently after I came out.

Coming out is still an issue for people. Of course, the difficulty level depends very much on the person and their specific situation and circumstance. But look at my story, for example. Everyone I told was very happy for me and supportive of me.

And it has actually brought me closer to a lot of my family and friends. I realize that this is still an anomaly and I am incredibly lucky and blessed.

But, I cannot imagine that anyone at all would have received a reaction like I did a few decades ago.

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