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LGBTQ Voices

How Sex Reassignment Surgery Improved My Personal Growth

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Author, wearing a gray hat, white dress shirt, dark vest, and a dark tie, furrowing their brow, looking into the camera
New York, NY

Coming out as trans was incredibly terrifying for me. Yet, it turned out to be one of the most freeing experiences I’ve ever had.

I knew when and how I was going to come out, and I had prepared for it for several weeks prior. I was also in a very privileged position, knowing that I would not be kicked out of my home or harmed physically or mentally as a result.

Many other trans folks do not have this privileged experience. I am very grateful and lucky to be in the position that I am in. My family took my coming out as well as I expected them to.

There were tears from my mother when I did my best to explain everything to her. I texted my father and let the rest of my family find out through a Facebook post.

Everyone treated me differently after coming out. Mostly, because of my pronouns and my name change. It took a while before they got used to it and to realize that I was still the same person.

When I started taking hormones, I was worried about changing mentally, but the most I changed mentally was experiencing mood swings. I was and always have been the same person. Now, I’m just more open about who I am and am much happier.

I remember the day that I had top surgery. I had been on testosterone for a year. And there were some complications with my surgery that I had to be moved to the hospital as a precaution.

When I was waking up, I felt a tightness around my chest and looked down. I was totally flat-chested. The tightness was from the cloth binder they had wrapped around me that I had to wear for the next week.

That was the first time I remembered feeling completely free. I was finally able to be my most authentic self, and since then I have had no dysphoria.

My journey isn’t the same as everyone. And it is important to note that not everyone’s transition has an end goal. I will be on hormones for the rest of my life and will continue to evolve as a person physically and mentally.

It took my entire life to finally feel comfortable in my own skin. Despite the ups and downs that life has thrown at me, at least I can be my most authentic and happy self.

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