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The Ultimate Guide on How to Flirt with a Girl Over Text or in Person

Are you struggling to talk to your girl crush over text or in person? We’ve got you covered! Check out this ultimate guide on how to flirt with a girl over text or in person.

Kendall Shirvan



A boy and girl looking at each other and smiling

Are you struggling to talk to your girl crush over text or in person?

We’ve got you covered! Check out this ultimate guide on how to flirt with a girl over text or in person.

There are certain dos and don’ts that I’ve come to realize about the art of flirting. How to flirt with a girl isn’t necessarily a step-by-step process for success.

Instead, staying adaptable to your environment and feeling comfortable socializing is best.

Of course, there are a few tips and tricks to remember that will help guide you through your first case of nerves.

The worst thing that could happen when flirting is rejection, and although that can be a pain to your ego, once you move past the fear of rejection, you’ll find a lot of acceptance.

Flirting with a girl can be a daunting task for many guys. It can be difficult to know how to approach a girl, what to say, and how to ensure you don’t appear creepy or desperate.

In this ultimate guide, we’ll provide you with tips on how to flirt with a girl without being creepy, common mistakes to avoid while flirting with a girl, FAQs on how to flirt with a girl, how to flirt with a girl over text with examples, and how to flirt with a girl in person.

With this guide, you can approach any girl and confidently make a great impression. So, let’s get started!

In This Post:

What is Flirting?

• Tips for Flirting with a Girl Without Being Creepy

• Common Mistakes to Avoid While Flirting with a Girl

Frequently Asked Questions on How to Flirt with a Girl

• How to Flirt with a Girl Over Text with Examples

• How to Flirt with a Girl in Person

Final Thoughts


What is Flirting?

smiling woman and a man


A way to show romantic or sexual interest in someone is to flirt with them.

It may involve both body language and verbal communication.

Depending on the circumstance and the parties involved, it can be lighthearted, subtly expressed, or overt.

Flirting can express interest, draw attention to oneself, or express gratitude. Additionally, it can forge connections, foster chemistry, and even ease the awkwardness.

Making someone feel special, showing them that you are interested in them, and establishing a connection are all possible through flirting.

It can also be used to convey your attraction to someone, to make them feel wanted, and to foster intimacy.


Tips for Flirting with a Girl Without Being Creepy

• Give Her a Compliment: Complimenting a girl is a great way to flirt without appearing creepy. Make sure to compliment her with sincere words that are tailored to her. For instance, if she has a great fashion sense, tell her you adore her ensemble.

• Make Eye Contact: A great way to convey your interest in a girl is to make eye contact with her. When speaking to her, give her your full attention while grinning.

• Ask Her Questions: One of the best ways to get to know a girl and demonstrate your interest in her is to ask her questions. Ask her about her passions, hobbies, and areas of interest.

• Be Playful: Being playful is an excellent way to flirt without being creepy. Make light-hearted jokes and light-heartedly tease her.

• Be Confident: Confidence is essential when it comes to flirting. Make sure to speak, stand up straight, and make eye contact.

• Pay attention: An essential component of flirting is listening. Pay close attention to what she says and follow up with more inquiries.

• Be Respectful: Respect is essential when it comes to flirting. Respect her boundaries and don’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to.

You can also watch this video for more tips to help you with your flirting techniques!


Common Mistakes to Avoid While Flirting with a Girl

• Not focusing: Focusing on the woman you’re flirting with is critical. Show her you are attentive and interested in what she says.

• Being intrusive: Flirting should be lighthearted and enjoyable. Avoid being overly aggressive or pushy.

• Being someone you’re not: Avoid trying to be someone you’re not. Be self-assured and allow others to see who you are.

• Failure to make eye contact: Eye contact is crucial to flirting. When speaking to her, be sure to give her your full attention.

• Not being respectful: Respect is essential when it comes to flirting. Avoid making any offensive jokes or remarks.

• Lack of confidence: Self-assurance is appealing. Do not hesitate to convey your interest in her and your self-assurance.

• Not having a sense of humor: When it comes to flirting, having a good sense of humor is essential. Make her laugh and tell her you’re not afraid to be silly.

• Failing to be sincere: Don’t just say things to win her over. Be sincere and truthful with her.

Related: 150+ Best Flirty Pick Up Lines For Her


Frequently Asked Questions on How to Flirt with a Girl


How do I know if a girl is interested in me while we’re flirting?

It can be difficult to tell if a girl is interested in you while flirting.

Some signs that she may be interested in including maintaining eye contact, smiling and laughing at your jokes, playfully touching you, complimenting you, asking questions about yourself, and mirroring your body language.


What are some good conversation starters to use when flirting over text?

• What have you been up to lately?

• What’s the most exciting thing that’s happened to you this week?

• What do you think about when you’re daydreaming?

• What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

• What’s the funniest thing that happened to you recently?

• What’s the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen lately?

• What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?


How to flirt with a girl out of your league?

• Compliment her. Everyone loves to be complimented, and it’s a great way to show her that you think she’s special.

• Be confident. Confidence is key when it comes to flirting with someone who is out of your league. Show her you believe in yourself and your ability to make her feel special.

• Make her laugh. Humor is a great way to break the ice and show her that you’re not intimidated by her beauty or status.

• Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Be genuine and authentic, and she’ll appreciate your honesty.

• Show interest. Ask her questions about herself and show her that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know her.


How often should you flirt with a girl?

It depends on the situation and the girl.

Flirting should be done respectfully and appropriately.

If you are interested in a girl, getting to know her first and then gauging her reaction to your flirting is best.

The frequency with which you should flirt with a girl depends on the context of the relationship.

Flirting should be a regular part of your interactions if you are in a committed relationship. Flirting should be done in moderation if you are getting to know someone.

Flirting should be done respectfully and appropriately and never in a way that makes the other person.

Related: 200 “Favorite Things” Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone Better

How to Flirt with a Girl Over Text with Examples

Flirting over text can be a great way to get to know someone and build a connection.

However, it’s important to remember that flirting should be lighthearted, fun, and not too aggressive or forward.

Keep your messages playful and positive, and don’t forget to ask questions to keep the conversation going. You can use this video to help you get started!

• Be responsive

Nothing is worse than waiting hours for a response from someone when getting to know them and trying to form a relationship.

The conversation will end, and you will lose the flow of the conversation.

It’s understandable to take a few minutes away from your phone, but if you want the girl to know you’re interested in her, especially in the beginning, you should respond promptly.

For example, text her that you will be busy for some hours or minutes before replying again or try to send a fast text to let her know you still think of her but that you cannot be so responsive at the moment.

Show her that she is on your mind.

• Use emojis

I love using emojis. I think they’re so fun and add some teasing to a conversation.

But do not overuse emojis because they can make a conversation seem more like a joke than a bonding opportunity.

Stick to one or two emojis, limit your use of hearts and smilies, and keep it casually classy when flirting with a girl.

Positivity is key, but being overly enthusiastic could scare your crush away.

For example, you could say ¨ Hey there, gorgeous 😍 I just wanted to let you know you´ve been on my mind all day! I can´t wait to see you again 😉 ¨

You can also send her funny memes to make her laugh and to say things you cannot express with words.

• Send funny selfies

When I’m finding it hard to come up with what to text someone, I send random updates about my day to fill the gap in the conversation.

You could send really anything (as long as it is appropriate)–a selfie saying “just went grocery shopping, off to the gym” could smoothly keep your conversation going.

Sharing a fun fact about yourself or asking a question about her are also great ways to keep her interested in your messages.

• Send good night and good morning texts

It’s nice to be reminded over text when someone thinks about you.

By sending a text in the morning and at night, it lets the girl you like know you are thinking about and caring for her.

Like for example, send a good morning text saying ¨ good morning beautiful, I hope you had a good night’s sleep, can´t wait to see you again! ¨

• Ask open-ended questions

Rather than asking “How are you,” which is often responded with one word and abruptly ends the conversation, instead, ask her something like “What did you do at work today?” which opens a conversation to flow and turn into a way to get to know each other.

Flirting with a girl is about prolonged contact, so don’t cut off conversations before they lead to anything meaningful!

A woman in a jacket and putting a hat holding her cellphone while smiling


• Make suggestive comments

Moving past a friendly text back and forth to a romantically charged conversation can be challenging.

Something that may help pivot the mood would be to add suggestive comments like “Oh yea?” or “Make me.”

These playful comments can set a new tone in your messages and turn them into flirting. This way, you will send your girl giggling on the other end.

• Use correct grammar!

There is nothing more annoying than incorrect grammar.

No matter if it is just in casual texts or in essays you are turning in for a class, correct grammar can improve a girl’s impression of you.

There is no reason you shouldn’t be capitalizing “I” in a text. And sometimes, you need a dash or a period to break up a thought in a text!

Remember, the little things count when you want a girl to think highly of you.

Reading emotions through a text without proper grammar or other tonal hints is hard.

Simple characters such as exclamation points could add more signals for your girl to interpret when flirting over text.

• Don’t be afraid to double—or even triple—text

This is another silly texting etiquette rule that bothers me. What’s the harm in sending more than one text at a time?

If the conversation seems to lag or you want to change the topic, send another text easily!

I’ll usually double-text because it makes sense in the flow of conversation. It’s not as serious as others may make it seem.

Just make sure to avoid spamming her phone!

• Compliment her

Compliments make anyone feel good! You could use comments to tell your girl you notice things about her.

Compliment how she looked today–though that may seem like a given, you may be surprised at how much hearing that would make her day.

On a deeper level, compliment her on what you know of her character. Tell her that you admire her or compliment her work ethic.

When a girl sees that you notice more than surface-level characteristics, it can make her feel way closer to you.

For example, tell her how intelligent and hard worker you think she is, or compliment her about her hobbies or other activities and how you think she is good at them.

• Talk to her on the phone!

Phones are for more than texting. If you’re comfortable, call her while you’re on a walk to see what’s up!

Conversations always flow better when talking in real-time instead of awkwardly waiting for each other to respond over text.

Ask her how she´s feeling, what she´s up to, or any other question to loosen her up and make her grab more confidence in you.

Related: 65 Best Dates for Teenagers – The Ultimate Guide

How to Flirt with a Girl in Person

• Be funny

The best thing a guy can do when flirting with a girl is to make her laugh. Be funny!

Make jokes! If a guy makes me laugh, I always feel more comfortable connecting with him.

I am a sucker for a good joke, and I assume other girls are!

Being funny when flirting with a girl is important because it helps to break the ice and create a more relaxed atmosphere.

It also shows that the guy is confident and comfortable in his skin, which can be attractive to a girl.

Humor can also be a great way to show off a guy’s intelligence and wit, which can be very attractive to a girl.

For example, you can tell her a story of something funny that happened to you.

• Initiate touch

This is tricky because we have to respect people’s physical boundaries, but the best way to show someone you’re romantically interested in them is to initiate physical touch.

If you see your crush in person, you may initiate a respectful hug or put your hand on her shoulder when in conversation.

Try to do something to let her know that you feel comfortable around her.

But you may want to warm up to her over text or with distance before you escalate to initiating touch.

• Allude to future moments you can spend together

While in conversation, you can allude to activities you can do together at another time.

For example, if your conversation is about a music artist you both like, you can mention an upcoming concert or festival to attend.

Sounds pretty smooth, am I right?

• Use confident body language

Confidence is key when flirting with a girl. No one wants to be guessing if you are or aren’t flirting.

Maintain eye contact, stand up straight, and direct your attention to your girl.

How you hold yourself can say much more about who you are than words often will.

Holding someone’s gaze for longer than a split second can be fairly intimate.

And not backing down from a stare is that slight confirmation that there is a connection being formed between you and her.

Body language goes both ways, so if she’s leaning away or not paying much attention, this is a sign that she is not feeling the relationship the same as you are.

When flirting with a girl, it is important to use confident body language.

This can include maintaining eye contact, smiling, and standing up straight with your shoulders back.

You can also use subtle touches, such as lightly touching her arm or shoulder when talking.

Additionally, you can lean in slightly when you are talking to her to show that you are interested.

15. Ask her about herself

Most people love talking about themselves if given the chance! Direct some questions to her and show you’re interested in who she is.

This will also open a chance for you to tell her about yourself. You never know what you’ll have in common, and what you’ll playfully argue about in the future.

• Smile

Even more than your use of open body language, a smile goes a long way.

Whether it’s a small, shy turn of your lips or a big, cheesy grin, a smile lets your girl know you’re directing your attention to her.

It also shows that you feel comfortable around her and may help her feel the same way while around you.

• Look and feel your best

In the essence of flirting, your goal is to impress your girl.

Not only does this come with your behavior and confidence, but it comes with how you present yourself to her.

You should be taking care of yourself and present the best version of yourself when flirting with a girl.

• Don’t use pick up lines

Using pick-up lines can make you look lazy and tend to make you sound outdated.

It may be a turn-off for the girl you are speaking with if you approach her with a sleazy one-liner comment.

This kind of flirting alludes to the fact that you are only interested in one thing.

Sometimes it works, but when flirting with a girl, leave the pickup lines at home. Chose another way to get her attention.

• Use the female gaze

What a guy thinks a girl is looking for completely differs from what a girl is seeking.

The male and female gaze can explain this. The male gaze is a way of sexualizing women for male viewing pleasure.

This is the thinking that a girl will want a buff, muscular, strong, masculine man.

But the female gaze shows that girls want an emotionally inept and charming fellow who sees her as their equal, not only a sexual object.

It explains why girls want Loki, not Thor.

So, next time you are trying to flirt with a girl, remember that you do not need to be a Thor for her to give you the time of day.

• Ask her out on a fun date

After all of these tactics, you should be ready to seal the deal.

Invite her to the movies, go for a picnic, or go out to a nice dinner.

The goal of flirting is to make a move on the girl.

After you show her your charming smile, make her laugh, and ooze confidence, she won’t be able to turn you down!

Related: 70 Cheap and Fun Date Ideas for Teens


Final Thoughts

I´ve had a lot of experience with flirting, I think it is cute when a guy tries to flirt with me, and I can notice how he isn´t sure how to do it or what to say.

For me, the most effective way to flirt with a girl is by listening to what she says about her, her stories, likes, and dislikes, and by giving useful and good feedback to everything she tells you.

Also, complimenting her work, activities, and everything that doesn´t involve her face or body is a great way to get a girl’s attention.

You must break through these nerves to succeed in flirting with a girl. Confidence and comfort are the perfect balance in flirting.

Flirting is an acquired skill. And like any other skill, you should continue practicing improving!

Learning to flirt with a girl is only the first part of getting someone to like you and become interested in forming a romantic relationship.

The bottom line is, just be yourself! These tips and tricks on how to flirt with a girl will get you noticed, but it’s YOU that has to seal the deal. Good luck!




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