GUILT — That uncomfortable, yet ubiquitous feeling that seems to never go away. Every day, we feel guilty about so many things: being a workaholic, not being productive enough, not having enough time to hang out with family & friends, etc.
The list is endless. Does it ring a bell?
We live in a society that puts a lot of pressure to balance it all perfectly well. We have been programmed to think that successful people can handle it all every day. But is it realistic?
Randi Zuckerberg pushes back against the idea of a well-balanced life. And in her book Pick Three is an easy self-help guide to achieve “real” balance in all areas of life.
You are the definition of a superwoman wearing different capes every day as a mom, entrepreneur, author, and speaker. How do you pick a project that you want to be involved with?
First of all, thank you. That’s incredibly kind, especially since I am 8 months pregnant right now and can barely walk down the street, let alone feel super at anything! But women truly are superheroes.
For me, my passion is supporting other women who are performing at the top of their game – and just need that small boost up to get there – whether that’s in technology, business, theater, running their household, you name it.
Sometimes I’ll invest in a particular entrepreneur or project if I think it’s something where I can truly be helpful, sometimes I’ll try and give advice that can scale to many people through my books, my radio show, or my mentorship and coaching platform, Zuckerberg Institute.
Where were you in your life when you were writing your book,
I was raising my two young sons while traveling 100 days a year to speak at events around the world and simultaneously running my own business back at home. Oh, and trying to have some semblance of maintaining health, fitness, and friendships.
I love everything I do, but definitely felt the guilt creeping in and the sleep going bye bye.
The concept of Pick Three (Work. Sleep. Family. Fitness. Friends. Pick Three) has saved me and my sanity more times than I can say, and writing the book definitely could not have happened at a more perfect or necessary point in my life!
In your book, you discuss the concept of being “well-lopsided” as the key to success and happiness. Please tell us more about that.
I’ve always believed that in order to achieve excellence in anything, you need to give yourself permission to really focus on that area of your life, even if it means that other things need to temporarily go on the back burner.
If you ask anyone to tell you the one or two things they are most proud of in their life, they will start talking about times when they weren’t well-balanced at all.
That’s why I am a huge advocate for being well-lopsided. In the long run, you can’t ignore or sacrifice areas of your life forever, but sometimes it is essential in order to thrive, or even simply survive, in the short term.
What was your motivation behind this book?
As a woman in technology and business, I’ve gotten used to being the only woman in the room, the only woman speaking in a panel discussion. And I noticed that I would be the only one who would get asked: “how do I balance it all?”
It made me curious; when did work/life balance become an issue only for women? Doesn’t everyone have to make decisions and trade-offs about their time, regardless of gender, age, work, or marital status?
I started diving deeper into different theories around time management and how we prioritize different aspects of our lives, and that’s how I came up with Pick Three. It took me almost seven years from coming up with this mantra to writing a book about it.
During that time, I’ve done countless research, spoken with experts across all five of the Pick Three categories, and honed/changed some of my own theories about what truly leads to balance, success, and happiness.
How did the Pick Three method originate? How does it work?
I was starting to figure out that in the real world, achieving anything of substance, whether at work, a personal goal, a health milestone, required intense focus and “lopsidedness.”
Everything you say yes to in life means you are saying no to something else, whether that something else is sleep, or going to the gym, or dating, you name it.
One day, out of sheer exasperation, I tweeted out: “The Entrepreneur’s Dilemma. Maintaining Friendships. Getting Sleep. Staying Fit. Having a Family. Building a business. Pick Three.”
After the tweet went viral, I realized that this wasn’t just something that applied to entrepreneurs. Everyone struggles with how to manage the many demands on our time.
The Pick three method encourages us to choose three categories of our life each day – Why is it important to ONLY pick three?
Before I committed to Pick Three, I would go to bed thinking about everything I didn’t do that day. I had mile-long to-do lists and guilt that flowed even longer.
However, I noticed that when I gave myself permission to Pick Three in a given day, I could easily accomplish everything I set out to do. And not only that, I did it well.
I’d end the day thinking about everything I had done, rather than what I hadn’t. And I started making Ta-Da lists rather than To-Do lists (which I outline in the book).
Now I’m not saying that you can only pick Three things and then you’re stuck with those same three things every day until the end of time. No, I believe in balance over the long run but lopsidedness in the short term. Every day is a new opportunity to pick a different three things.
How does the Pick Three method help people achieve balance over time?
The reason Pick Three exists is to give ourselves permission to be lopsided at a time when life is skewed in different directions. By focusing on a few tasks each day—varying what needs attention and when—we eventually will balance out.
Sometimes we are lucky and we get to choose which three to pick. Sometimes life is crazy and throws wrenches at us and picks for us.
Either way, whether you are on top of the world or simply treading water, giving yourself permission to focus on a few things and freeing yourself from the guilt of not being everything to everyone can make a huge difference in our overall happiness and well-being.
We live in a culture that puts a lot of pressure to balance everything and get it perfectly right. How do you think we can change that?
It’s easy to look at social media and think that everyone else’s lives are perfect. But peer beneath the surface and you’ll find that everyone is struggling. If you try and do everything well every day, you are setting yourself up for failure and mediocrity across every category of your life.
Personally, I’d rather be great at a few things than average at everything! But it definitely takes time, mindfulness, and focus to get to that place and to give yourself permission to be ok with being “lopsided.”
What do you hope for readers to take away from your book?
No one’s life is perfect, regardless of what it looks like on the outside. We’re all just trying to live the best way we know how. Comparison and judgment won’t make you happy, it’s actually the opposite, so avoid being hard on yourself at all costs.
Being mindful and careful about what you focus your time on, even if it means saying no to things, will help you be happier, more successful, and yes, more balanced, in the long run.
You’ve had an amazing professional journey, from Facebook director of marketing to founder of the Zuckerberg Institute. What is the one piece of advice you have for entrepreneurs that are just starting?
Every single day is a new opportunity to make choices, to reconsider how you are going to spend your time, and to prioritize the things that truly feed your soul.
I love seeing the entrepreneurs I mentor and coach through the Zuckerberg Institute start ditching the guilt and giving themselves permission to accomplish greatness.
Nobody becomes an entrepreneur because they want to be mediocre – if you’ve made the decision to start your own business, this is the time to dig deep, focus, and build something you can truly be proud of.
Meet Scott Hughes: The Entrepreneur Who Built One of the Largest Online Book Communities
Are you a book junkie? Find out how Scott Hughes built OnlineBookClub, a free online community for book lovers with over 2 million members.
Are you a book lover?
If you are, then you need to check out OnlineBookClub.org, a free online site for book lovers around the world.
The online site features book reviews, book & reading forums, and useful tools that enable you to store, track and list books you have read or want to read.
Scott was only 19 when he launched OnlineBookClub.
The idea of creating OnlineBookClub originated after Scott, a book fanatic, realized that there were too many restrictions for in-person book clubs such as tight deadlines on book reading, a limited selection of books, and little freedom to pick books to read.
Scott wanted to leverage the power of online discussions and create a flexible space where people all over the world could easily find people to chat about any book at any time. That is how OnlineBookClub came to life.
Building the online platform was a rewarding experience for Scott, but it was far from easy.
For 7 years, Scott ran the business and paid himself nothing from it. During those years, he worked odd jobs to pay his living expenses and put food on the table for his two kids.
“I remember one month I had to go to the coinstar machine at the bank with my spare change on the 10th of month just so I could cover the rent, but I did it.”
The hardest part of creating the platform for Scott was finding time to run the business while juggling his day job and raising two kids. It was difficult for him to find a work-life balance but he made it work despite the hardships.
At the end of 2014, Scott finally took a leap of faith, gave up his side jobs, and went full-time at OnlineBookClub. He knew that to make it work, he had to devote himself completely to the online site.
And his efforts paid off.
The platform is thriving with over 2.7 million registered users as of November of 2021.
The revenue of the platform primarily comes from paid online advertising and professional services to authors and publishers, such as editorial reviews and manuscript editing.
Scott is proud of the work he has accomplished so far, especially of the community he has built.
“OnlineBookClub has always been filled with kind people who have a strong sense of togetherness and community. It’s like a second family for us.”
Scott’s journey has been full of ups and downs, but through it all, he is grateful for all the experiences-good ones and bad ones.
When asked to advise young entrepreneurs just starting, he has the following to say:
“The journey never really ends. If you make a million dollars, then you might chase a billion. Even if you reach all your financial goals and lose interest in that side of things, your mind will create new different goals. So it’s never about reaching some destination. When you look back on it, in many ways the most challenging times are also seen most fondly.”
He also believes that entrepreneurs need to be driven by something other than money.
“I’ve found in my anecdotal experience and just from watching the world around me that those who desperately chase money are the least likely to find it. In contrast, when you work hard on yourself and your real dreams, money chases you. Money–and even health and physical fitness–are only really ever a means, not an end in themselves. Without some kind of vision or passion to be the real end, the real goal, the real dream, it’s like driving a car with no gas.”
Scott’s story is a great reminder that anything can be achieved with perseverance, passion, and hard work.
So, if you are just starting, make sure to stay tuned for his upcoming book, “In It Together: The Beautiful Struggle Uniting Us All,” which will be released soon.
‘Halloween Kills’ Cast & Crew Explain the Slasher
Article by Riley Farrell
The cast and crew of Halloween Kills told Blendtw why the latest slasher’s gore is anything but gratuitous in a year like 2021.
Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, Anthony Michael Hall, Kyle Richards, Malek Akkad, David Gordon Green and Jason Blum tell horror fans to expect carnage. After all, Halloween Kills must live up to its title.
Chainsaws buzzing and bats swinging, Halloween Kills is a current-day cathartic catastrophe – and no character is safe – according to producer Jason Blum of Blumhouse Productions.
Halloween Kills is the 12th movie in Michael Myers’ macrocosm, with the 13th, and allegedly final, movie coming out in 2022. When seriously injured Laurie Strode thought she killed Michael Myers after 42 years of trailing him, his annual bloodbath recommences. Sick of living at the mercy of “pure evil,” the town’s vigilantes revolt against the boogieman.
“Subtlety is not this film,” said director David Gordon Green, on fitting in as much bloodshed as possible in 105 minutes.
The cast filmed Halloween Kills two years ago and shelved it due to the pandemic, until now.
Picking up where Halloween (2018) left off, the film explores the aftermath of collective trauma, said Green. Given everything that’s ensued in the last two years, viewers do not have to live in Haddonfield to understand suffering, and inversely, resilience.
“We’ve taken a slasher movie and it’s landed in a time of cultural relevance because of our public consciousness,” said Green. “Though [the movie is] grotesque, there are moments when we feel the humanity underneath the surface of this movie monster.”
Halloween Kills brought back two characters from the 1978 Halloween in Tommy Doyle (Anthony Michael Hall) and Lindsey Wallace (Kyle Richards), the two children who Laurie babysat during Michael’s initial attack. Hall and Richards did not require much persuasion to hop on the franchise, said Green.
The callbacks of all-grown-up characters, of course, evokes nostalgia. But the twist on the trope is that, instead of running from Michael, the kids now face him head-on, said Richards. Hall, who described Halloween Kills as a “thrill ride” and “freight train,” said the slasher hinges on human resilience.
“We summoned something deep in themselves and decided to fight back, we’re not just survivors but fighters,” said Hall.
Resilience as a motif snugly fits within the cultural zeitgeist, even earning a title as Forbes’ 2021 word of the year. Though coincidental, the visceral and violent images in Halloween Kills harken to audiences’ nihilistic experiences of the past 18-months. Producer Malek Akkad said the slasher film can paradoxically be pertinent yet escapist for viewers who’ve experienced the horror genre by simply reading the news.
“It’s tough for everybody right now and this movie’s just a fun release,” said Akkad. “There’s nothing more cathartic for people watching than to see a final girl like Laurie.”
For reference, the final girl trope, pioneered by the character of Laurie Strode in John Carpenter’s 1978 Halloween, represents the heroine left standing at the end of a horror movie who is charged with defeating the antagonist. Film theorist Carol J. Clover coined the term in her 1992 book, ‘Men, Women, and Chainsaws: Gender in the Modern Horror Film.’ The final girl has been observed in many films, including The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Alien, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream.
Scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis said she was unaware of the meaning and dialogue surrounding the final girl until recently. She argued, even though the trope has immense cultural significance, the original idea of the final girl is uncomplicated.
“The term is just about the tenacity of women to survive because, the truth is, women have survived through a lot,” said Curtis.
No characters know survival better than the Strode women. Andi Matichak, who plays Laurie’s granddaughter, and Curtis agreed that their favorite behind-the-scenes moment centered on feminine resilience in spite of harsh conditions.
It was a frigid 4 a.m. shoot, and the three generations of Strode ladies were alone in a truck, coated in fake blood, with only each other and a camera rig for warmth, Matichak described. This moment was the last time Laurie, Karen and Allyson were on screen together.
“It was a powerful moment to lean on each other and feel the weight of the project,” Matichak said.
Cutting through the sweet moments is the slasher at the heart of the story, said Curtis on the “high octave, frenzied” plot of Halloween Kills. For audiences who’ve lived through the chaos of the past two years, Halloween Kills should match their fast pace of existence.
“The past is irrelevant, you’re so in the present moment,” said Curtis.
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Waving Through A Big Screen: ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ Cast Talks Film Adaptation
With Ben Platt reprising his Tony-winning role as the show’s titular character, a whole new Hollywood cast takes on Broadway.
Content warning: mentions of anxiety, depression and suicide.
Article by Riley Farrell
All that it takes is a bit of reinvention for Dear Evan Hansen to move from the theatre to theaters, hitting eardrums on Sept. 24 this year.
With Ben Platt reprising his Tony-winning role as the show’s titular character, a whole new Hollywood cast takes on Broadway. Platt, Julianne Moore, Amandla Stenberg, Amy Adams, Danny Pino, Kaitlyn Dever, Stephen Chbosky and Steven Levenson explained the movie’s newfound reach and relevance in an interview with BLENDtw, among other publications.
The Plot Thickens
Begrudgingly in therapy for anxiety, high schooler Evan Hansen is tasked with writing daily letters to himself, hence the movie title. After Evan’s peer Connor Murphy kills himself with Evan’s letter in his backpack, Evan’s page is mistakenly thought to be a suicide note from Connor.
Evan tells a well-meaning white lie that soon darkens with self-interest to get closer to the Murphy family, which includes Connor’s sister Zoe (Kaitlyn Dever), and Connor’s mom and dad (Amy Adams and Danny Pino, respectively). Via fake emails and a fundraiser, what once began as a misunderstanding spirals into an operatic betrayal about teens and their screens.
Oh, How Times Have Changed (Or Not)
To address the obvious, it has been a long time since DEH initially premiered in 2015 – but the cast said the musical remains relevant. Things have changed: a pandemic rocked our worldviews and Ben Platt, shockingly, aged.
Platt, 27, played Evan in the original musical version. After the movie trailer dropped in 2021, Platt faced online backlash over playing a character a decade younger, even though he lost 15 pounds and changed his styling routine to appear youthful.
“As a parent, I saw a teenager in Ben’s demeanor,” Julianne Moore, who plays Evan’s mom, said in Platt’s defense.
Speaking of something that’s aged us all, COVID-19, the ideas explored about mental health in DEH six years ago seem timely today, said Dever.
“This film is about feeling isolated, after the pandemic, we’re looking to feel heard,” said the Booksmart actress.
A 2021 study from the National Institute of Health found that anxiety symptoms increased during the COVID shutdowns, making ordering delivery and asking peers to sign your cast daunting. This film was a refreshing counter-narrative on what anxiety looks like, demographically and behaviorally, said Stenberg, who shared an on-set story about the stakes of DEH.
Chbosky, the author of Perks of Being Wallflower, showed a letter to Stenberg that a teenager had written to him after reading the novel. The reader expressed how his suicidal ideation disappeared after reading Chbosky’s book. That book saved him, said Stenberg. After that experience, Stenberg said she felt the movie served as an opportunity for mental health representation, not tokenism.
“I was excited to be playing a Black girl who is on medication,” Stenberg said of her high-achieving teen character, Alana Beck.
There’s no one face or behavior associated with anxiety, Stenberg said. Stenberg said she’s been prescribed medication as a teenager but has only recently come to terms with the shame she felt about mental health.
The year isn’t the only context that’s changed. The medium by which this sensitive story is delivered has transformed from the live stage to the screen. Freedoms of editing and re-filming takes helped storytelling, said Chbosky, who felt ‘obsessed’ with the spotlighting of each character.
Via camerawork, Chbosky and Levenson said they more innovatively explored symbolism and imagery. The film’s juxtaposition between social media and nature – contrasting screens with sunlight as motifs – is about duplicity in the dark and authenticity in the light, said Chbosky.
“You can’t have truth without the lie,” said Chbosky.
The filmmaking medium aided in communicating the perils of presenting a fake self online, said Levenson.
“We wanted to play with the idea of how fast lies can spread online,” said Levenson. “How untrue things make you feel great and the complicated nature of that.”
Expanded audiences can enjoy the story now that it has transcended the Broadway medium. Though fans of the original musical will encounter changes to the original stage material, Platt said he thinks Evan’s move from the stage to the screen is a step towards accessibility. The message of DEH is magnified when more audience members are added to the conversation, said the Pitch Perfect actor.
“No matter what, it’s important for me to communicate that there’s nothing that makes you unlovable,” said Platt.
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