The way depression and suicide come about is never linear.
Rather, it is usually a conglomeration of a lot of factors. My mental illness
is mostly caused by my self-perception, especially during the time when I went
to high school.
I constantly set very high standards for myself, and if I did not achieve the standard, I talked down to myself by saying : ‘why are you so dumb.’
To make matters worse, the lack of sleep in high school because of heavy school work really stressed me out. With the pressure to succeed, I constantly compared myself to others and put myself down.
With rejections from various places (colleges, dates, etc.), I was trapped into the mentality of not ‘being good enough.’ I was very harsh on myself. It was a bad loop without an end.
I know there is no exact way for every person to seek help,
but the important thing is that you do not give up in seeking help.
Your depression will try to force you to give up and think that life is meaningless, but don’t listen to it!
You see the world in a distorted way when you are depressed. You see it as a very dark place, and you start having suicidal thoughts. Your brain gets into toxic patterns of thinking, and you end up making a habit out of it.
Only you can alter the way to see this world—usually with a
little help from therapy.
I have had my fair share of not-so-great therapists, so if you feel that your therapist doesn’t really help, do not be afraid to switch or seek out another therapist—or possibly try out different types of therapy.
If you’re simply feeling down, talking with friends and
parents can help. But, if you want to get better and know how to manage the
suicidal thoughts, a therapist is the way to go.
Good therapists are
able to help you get rid of a suicidal mindset, and they tell you how to deal
with it and what you can do. I am currently seeing a therapist who specializes