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Suicide Prevention

How I Struggled with Depression and Suicide

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“What truly triggered my battle with suicide was the neglect and abuse I suffered while I lived with my dad and stepmom.”

I have struggled with depression and suicide for the majority of my life. Being 20 now and looking back and realizing that more than half of my life has been a battle, I am so proud to have made it through the worst of the worst, and I have ended up stronger because of it.

It started with my parent’s divorce. I was only about 5 years old, and the agreement they had with joint custody was: week with my mom, week with my dad – that kind of thing.

My mom was never home. I’m not saying that to be dramatic, she was never home. I don’t have any memories of her before the age of 10. That’s when I started to wonder where she was, why she wasn’t spending time with me, I even began to think she hated me.

Fortunately, my dad took custody of me on my 13th birthday. The new woman he married emotionally, and mentally abused me for years on end.

She left harassing notes around the house, put my shoes outside in the rain overnight and kicked me out until I called the police to escort me back into my own home.

One day I had come from the hospital from a suicide attempt. She came into my room and started beating me. My dad told me I couldn’t live at home anymore.

A few months ago, I discovered my mom was a heroin addict and was on the run from the government.

My depression had gotten to the point where I was barely functional at work. I wouldn’t blink, I’d drag my feet, I wouldn’t talk, I wouldn’t eat, I wouldn’t try because effort at that point felt futile.

What truly triggered my battle with suicide was the neglect and abuse I suffered while I lived with my dad and stepmom. I remember it was my first year of middle school, and I cut my wrist with a dull pair of scissors.

My stepmom cornered me and mocked me, telling me I was doing it for attention, that ‘they’re just scrapes.’

A massive contributing factor to my depression was that I was molested multiple times as a child by a person who I thought to be my friend. I never told my mom, but I told my dad and stepmom when I was ready to come out about my experience.

He refused to believe me and laughed at me. I would tell my dad I was depressed and wanted to die. He would tell me he loved me and would hug me, but never once allowed me to go on antidepressants, never gave me numbers to help lines.

Thankfully, my close friends were extremely supportive and sympathetic with everything I told them, I knew I would never be alone if I had them by my side.

A piece of advice I would give to a person who is dealing with a situation similar to mine is that you’re never alone. I know it may feel like it, and I know that’s what everyone says, but there’s millions of people in the world who are hurting like you may be.

It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to cry.

Being able to find something I loved doing to distract me from the immense pain and depression I felt was an amazing feeling. I would share my work online and have people I didn’t even know cheering me on.

Having the ability to discover a passion of yours and putting your heart and soul into it is definitely one of the most blessed feelings I have ever experienced, and absolutely was a major contributing factor to my success in coping with my depression.

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Suicide Prevention

How Faith Cured My Mental Health Issues

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This young man shares how his relationship with faith helped him cope with his mental health problems over time.

A really low point in my life was when my uncle died. During my sophomore year, my school had a strict policy of no phones out during class hours. When I got out of class that day, the first thing I did was check my phone.

When I turned it on, I saw that I had a missed call from my mother. I called her back to see what she wanted, and she had told me that she was over my Aunt Norma’s house.

This was very odd to me because they normally only speak to each other on holidays. I figured the reason she was over there was to talk about Thanksgiving which was quickly approaching.

I still thought it was a bit strange, so I asked my mom what she was doing over there. The response that she had given me was one that I never thought I’d be hearing. My mother told me the reason that she went over, was because my uncle had died.

I was in complete shock over the news I had just heard. I felt the tears starting to form, but for some reason, I was not allowing myself to cry. His voice started playing in my head. It was at that moment I realized that it is possible to lose your loved ones.

Death is a concept I was familiar with, but not something I had experienced before. I had not realized the impact death could have on me, and my family. My heart was crushed, and I was not sure how to cope with this.

As the day of my uncle’s funeral approached, reality started to settle in. When the day of his funeral came, I was dreading going the whole time. My family started filling in the chairs, and I was surrounded by sadness and misery. For me, being around a scene like that was hard to deal with.  

After some time, I decided to go to the front and look at my uncle. This casket held the person who made life enjoyable for me. The man that showed me how to live life to the fullest. This was one of the lowest points in my life, but I knew he would not want me to be sad.

Life might seem unbearable at times, but having faith can get you through anything. Faith will give you strength. It will heal your soul and remind you that you will get better no matter how hard life gets. 

 Recently, I have surrounded myself with a support system. They understand my pain and are willing to help me in any way that they can. I learned that in order to get better, I needed to ask for help. I started doing different activities such as band which keep my mind occupied.

 The advice I would have for others during a low point in their life would be to reach out to others. Sometimes we are afraid to ask for help, but it is nothing to be ashamed about. I thought that sheltering myself from others would be beneficial, but in reality, it wasn’t.

You might feel alone, but you’re not. It took me a while to take this all in, but I’m finally starting to feel like myself again with the support of family and friends.

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Suicide Prevention

How My Job as a Cashier Triggered My Depression

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A young lady explains how her job as a cashier has made her depression worse.
North Ridgeville, Ohio

Although I have recently overcome my depression, it’s still a touchy subject for me to talk about. My depression began about a year ago. When I started my job at Altitude Trampoline Park.

At first, working there was so much fun. I enjoyed working with the kids and even made some lifelong friendships with some of my co-workers. This quickly changed for me when I met our general manager.

Going into work became more of a drag. And, I struggled to get out of bed most days to go there. My general manager was very aggressive and degrading.

He wanted to make sure all the employees knew that he was in charge. And that he held all the power in that establishment. Going into work started to become my trigger for my depression.

There were days when I felt like I could actually make it a fun day at work, but that dream was short-lived once I walked through those doors. My lowest point was the first day I was promoted to a cashier. What brought joy to my workday was working with the children. So being promoted to cashier meant I had to work closely with my GM.

Little did I know that being a cashier also meant dealing with rude customers who yelled at me for things I couldn’t control. When I asked the GM for help, he would look at me with confusion and tell me to handle it myself. This led me to breakdown and I knew I had to make some sort of change.

I ended up quitting that job and finding a new job that I absolutely love. I have been at this establishment for about 5 months now and I couldn’t be happier.

To those struggling with depression, I recommend finding a passion. At times you might feel like you are not in control of your life, but you are, and only you can make you happy.

Find something that you truly love. And invest all your time in it. I’ve found that keeping your mind busy is a great way to distract yourself from anything that could potentially be mentally or physically draining for you.

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Suicide Prevention

How I Stopped Feeding My Sadness to Overcome Depression

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This young lady explains how her departure of feeding her sadness has overcame her depression.
Elyria, Ohio

My first experience of depression was in seventh grade. I always knew bullying was a thing. I just never thought I’d be the one going through it. From what I can recall, I was bullied from October of my seventh-grade year until the end of eighth grade.

At the beginning of middle school, I started dating this guy who, at first I thought was amazing. 

As time went on, he found ways to manipulate me, lead me on, and mentally abused me. 

Honestly, I don’t know if I would have been strong enough to end things at that age. The mental abuse was brutal. Thankfully he moved away so I was free of him and all his insanity. 

I wish I could say that Middle School was my lowest point, but that didn’t occur until my freshman year.

It was like no matter what I did, I couldn’t make myself happy. Every time I got happy, something would happen and my mental health would decline. 

To kinda overcome it, I separated myself from anything that made me sad. I stopped feeding into my sadness and would keep myself busy. 

I would stop intentionally listening to sad music. I would unfollow people that made me feel worthless. I unfollowed and unadded people that I once considered friends. 

But those people would tear me down and switch up on me in a heartbeat. I disconnected myself from them and started working on myself little by little. I would get out of bed if I felt sad because I knew that laying there would be worse. 

To anyone feeling this way, I would definitely say that by feeding into it, you’re gonna make it worse. This is what I tell all my friends struggling with depression. If you’re sad, go out and do something. Even if you just go for a walk.

By laying in bed and just staring at blank space or listening to sad music, you’re gonna consume yourself with that sadness. And I promise it makes everything so much worse. 

Keeping yourself active and knowing when to say enough is enough, is definitely the most important lesson that I had to learn for myself because even my best friend would just feed into the game that is depression.

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