When I was younger, I wasn’t big but I was chubby. The first time I noticed that I was chubby was in elementary school when they would take our weight and our height in class.
Everyone else was around 60 to 70 pounds and I remember being 105. It shocked me because I was the heaviest person in my class. The heaviest friend that I had was 70 pounds; everyone was laughing at me because I was over 100.
I started to think that me not being between 60 to 70 pounds wasn’t normal. I remember going home and talking to the doctor and they said that I was overweight for my age.
After that, I went on a diet, at 10 years old. I used to eat one spoon of rice and one piece of chicken purposely and my mother let me.
I ended up dropping to 85 pounds, but by then everyone was gaining weight because we were growing and moving onto middle school.
But, I’ve learned that I will always look bigger, that’s just how my body is. I’m just thick.
Even when me and my friends would weigh 110 pounds, I would still look bigger.
I didn’t start to struggle with my body image again until I came to college. My sophomore year, I dealt with a really bad breakup and I gained 40 pounds in 2 months and ever since then, 2 years later, I haven’t been able to lose the weight.
At first, I was really trying hard to lose the weight and I obsessed over the numbers. But now, I don’t care about the number on the scale anymore.
I love how my body looks and it’s okay to have insecurities, so I stopped worrying about the numbers.
What has worked for me to overcome issues of body image is affirmations. I affirm myself daily even before I believe it, but it takes time.
I have found things to love about myself and my body. I would encourage people to love yourself how you are now.
Don’t wait until you’ve reached a certain goal or when you’re ‘perfect’. Love yourself as you go along your journey.