One year ago, I was really depressed but my ex-boyfriend at that time helped me a lot.
I started to heavily depend on him emotionally. However, he suddenly liked another girl within a very short period of time.
After I found that he had cheated on me, I was not able to accept the reality and became more depressed. To make things worse, after I broke up with him, he emotionally attacked me.
I felt my world was too overwhelming, and I could not even take a deep breath.
I questioned myself so hard about whether I was too cheap even though it was not my fault.
I tried to confront my ex-boyfriend hoping to let him acknowledge that he was wrong. However, he kept making fun of me and saw me as a joke.
During that time, one of my relatives committed suicide, so I thought maybe suicide was a way to end the pain.
Even though it was difficult, I did tell my friends what was happening to me. Every time I expressed myself, I felt better and could see things from a more objective perspective. I slept all days during those dark days but had the intention to save myself.
I sought help from my friends and found ways to distract my head like watching a show or cooking. Staying busy helped me release all the burden and pressure.
When I realized that the demand of schoolwork was worsening my condition, I decided to take a break and withdrew from university.
The most important thing you need to do if you are struggling with depression is to acknowledge it. Do not suppress your emotions because it is worse.
Do not be afraid to acknowledge you are ill.
When you are ill, everything you see is distorted, but this does not mean that it is your fault. All you need to do is acknowledge your condition and understand the root cause of it.
Little by little, you will find ways to control your emotions and improve your mental health.
I know it is hard to recover. But the beautiful thing is that it gives you the opportunity to reinvent yourself and start over.
You are the one can save yourself, so be strong and keep going even if you fall thousand times.
We only live once!